Figmental Reality

Imaginary: existing only in the imagination or fancy; not real; fancied

The ability to create entire worlds using only the faculties of our mind is what separates us from the animals.

We are creators, made to conceive worlds of design and invention. To create is essential to our existence, and what we create is the offspring of our nature. From this intrinsic character, we have harnessed electricity, taken flight, broken architectural limits, cured diseases, and even landed a rover on mars (not to mention the countless other advances). Our desire to fabricate our own existence differentiates us from nearly all other creatures...It is the purpose of our being.

We create jobs, relationships, entertainment, technology, sales, opportunities, and homes. We forge society, and classifications. We produce standards, rules and statutes. But what if we do not?

FLOODGATE:

What happens, then, when we do not intentionally employ this fundamental attribute of our existence? The short answer is, we have to. Being stuck in a job, relationship or situation that does not allow for creative outlet is like a dam holding in our need to produce; When there is no outlet, the dam gives way to release the pressure. This rupture in our imagination-holding-tank spews forth frustrations and confusion and we begin to create scenarios, and situations of the worst kind. This became clear to me, personally, with my once unreasonable fear of winter driving. Afraid to go out driving on a winter day, I would choose to miss a meeting or change my plans in order to avoid a potentially bad road. I had never been afraid of driving in the snow in my younger years, so I began to examine what had happened that brought me to that place. There were only a few minor incidents that could have played a part in my unreasonable fear. A few icy roads, and near-ditch-experiences, and one car flipping in front of me moment, but nothing personally. So why was I afraid? I soon realized that I would feel the most fear before a trip, or when I was not in control and another was driving. I had the solitude of mind at those moments to envision horrible outcomes. I began to create scenarios in my mind, witnessed worlds replete with roll-over accidents, and head on collisions. I tortured myself with images of pain and death. In my created world, I lived out terrible circumstances, even to the point of having physiological reactions (headaches and nausea). I was creating my own world of unreasonable fear, and it was dark...much darker than reality. In essence, the floodgate on my imagination pool had given way. Once I realized that I was creating this world, I was able to manipulate it accordingly. Recognizing when my visualizations were only that, I began to redirect them or stop them altogether. While I prefer to drive in fair weather, I am finally capable of facing winter roads.

Once we harness the floodgate, and start using our imagination for the good, we begin to create worlds for ourselves that are much more disposed to contentment rather than fear.

In his blog article, “The Dark Side of Imagination” Srinivas Rao says;

“If we start to examine our lives, we’ll start to notice patterns of this behavior throughout our lives. If you have trust issues, you will imagine somebody cheating on your over and over and eventually you’ll destroy the relationship. If you have self-esteem issues then you will imagine that people are saying all of the worst things about you, when for all you know they may be talking about how cool you are. If you find almost any limiting beliefs, then most of those will enable you to imagine some of the worst things.” 1.

Limiting beliefs are precisely what hold us back. If someone believes that they “suck” at their job, they begin to imagine being fired. They perceive their relationships with their co-workers and employers as being strained, and then begin to act out. Assuming that others are thinking the worst, they begin to have imaginary dialogues which invoke an emotional and physiological response. They become defensive and abrasive, treating peers like they are “out-to-get-them”. This imagined world begins to permeate the real world; Relationships are strained, words are said and mistakes are made. Ultimately this person has manifested a reality from their imagination.

How many jobs are quit or lost from this? How many marriages are shattered? How many people hurt? This is why it is essential that we harness and channel our imaginations! Like building muscle, exercise is the key to tuning our creativity.

LIMITING BELIEFS:

How do we whip our creative minds into shape? My wife and I decided to try CrossFit for the first time this year. We did a six week foundations class three nights a week, discovering something that we had yet to discover. The class was grueling, and our physical abilities were very limited. One of the work outs that we did was called “Fight Gone Bad”, which consisted of several reps of some very unpleasant exercises. From the beginning it felt as though we could not do it, but the “fight” part is entirely against ourselves. Both my wife and I, comparing notes afterward, had the same internal dialogue of limiting belief, we both had to fight hard to overcome our self-doubt in order to finish the fight!

The first step to tuning our creativity has to be recognizing our limiting beliefs. As long as we believe that we are not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, we will not be any of that. Eric Thomas 2., The Hip Hop Preacher addresses this on his YouTube Video shouting out “I CAN, I WILL, I MUST!”  Saying words like “I hate winter driving” or “I suck at my job” or “I’m terrible at math” or “I wish I was a better husband/mother/friend/worker/person” are all limiting beliefs. As soon as we voice them, we somehow make them real, we excuse ourselves from improving, and we block the pressure relief valve for our creativity. STOP IT!

OWNING THE IMAGINARY:

The second step to tuning our creativity is to address the imaginary worlds and dialogues that we have created. Admitting that my fear of winter driving was imaginary was necessary to grow past it.

The jealous husband has to acknowledge the scenarios in his mind where his wife has feelings for another man is not real. He has to stop imagining the worst possibilities, and stop torturing himself with the emotional repercussions of living through it over and over again. He has to stop before he manifests it as reality.

The insecure employee has to acquiesce to their belief that they are bad at their job. They have to stop imagining that their co-workers are against them and that their job is at stake. They have to do this before they manifest it as reality.

As humans with an incredible ability to create, harnessing that ability is of paramount importance. The best part is that we can do this immediately. In six short weeks of crossfit my wife and I have seen some incredible changes, physically, emotionally and psychologically. This short time has made it clear that we are capable of anything we put our minds to. It started with a simple decision, and has lead us to a place of sincere excitement. When it comes to our imaginations, deciding to harness and direct our internal world will directly affect our external lives. What we imagine we manifest!

We are creators, so let’s create! Let’s decide to believe that we can do anything we put our minds to. Let’s acknowledge that our imagination has sometimes spilled over into reality in some great and some not-so-great ways. And let’s own the imaginary to manifest the reality!

1. http://theskooloflife.com/wordpress/the-dark-side-of-imagination/

2. http://etinspires.com/

Faithful With The Small Things!

CONTENT: [Kuhn-tent] satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

Dictionary.com

Michael Jordan is one of the best basketball players of all times. Oddly, he was also deemed one of the top 10 quitters of all times according to Time Magazine. By 1992, he had won three MVP awards and had topped the NBA in scoring for seven consecutive seasons. For some reason, he saw greener grass in minor league baseball, quit his career and swung the pine for a few years. When Jordan realized that hitting a curveball was hard, the green grass of the diamond faded. He quit again and went back to jump shots, slam dunks and lay-ups. After a couple more MVP awards, Jordan decided to try his hand at ownership. He bought the Wizards in 1998 but by 2000, Michael Jordan renounced ownership, and put a Wizards jersey on. Nearly 40 years old, he had to face the cold reality that contentment was not found in any of these grand adventures. By 2003, he was entirely done with basketball. By 2006 he was done with his seventeen year old marriage. By 2011 he was remarried to a cuban-american supermodel.

Not sure about calling him a quitter though. Among his quotes he says "I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed." and "Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." These aren't the words of a quitter. He is just like everyone else; looking for contentment! He has also proven that resolve brings reward. While he has quit at many things, he has certainly tried at many as well! Which leads me to the main thought of this article; contentment is an elusive thing! It is the primary motivator for every being on the planet; the quest of every soul; the desire of every heart; the drive of every person! 

Having taken posts in several different locations with several different ministries and now one secular career, it has become clear to me that contentment is what has invoked the change every time! Greener grass in other yards feeds the lie that life would somehow be better somewhere else, in some other situation. Less difficult, less cumbersome, less monotonous, less...well, the picture is clear! It would be great to live in the mountains or the prairies, or in another province, or closer to family, or further from family. It would be fantastic to have a job that matters, or one that doesn't; or to be in a marriage that has more or less intimacy...greener grass! I've heard it said that "if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, then it's time to water you own lawn!" That is just what time it is! Time to take a good hard look in the mirror and address just what the driving force really is! Contentment! 

In a recent Google Forms survey on contentment, I asked a series of questions about people's level of contentment. Based on the subcategories of employment, marriage, social life, leisure activities and community involvement, people were asked to rate themselves on a scale of 1 to 5 (one being very discontent and five being very content). The results were very interesting and one thing quickly became clear; most people said that they were genuinely content. In fact, the majority of the people surveyed were "content" to "very content" in their everyday lives. They all had something else in common, they were all discontent to very discontent in at least two of the sub-categories (marriages, work, social life, religion, etc). 

The Apostle Paul somehow figured something out regarding this! In Philippians 4, he says that he has discovered what it means to be content in any circumstance! Whether it is in poverty or wealth; freedom or prison; healthy or sick, he figured out what true contentment is! His strength was not his own, but he could do all things through the one who strengthens. Contentment isn't in some magic formula, or hidden mystery; it is unequivocally tied to belief!  Belief is directly connected to effort, and effort is contingent upon need. 

What do I believe about myself? What do I believe about God? What do I believe about how to measure happiness? Whether I'm making tents or making disciples, true contentment is not something that can be measured. To be content in a difficult situation as well as an easy one comes when we change what it is that we believe about ourselves, God, and the world around us. 

I CAN!
Paul said "I can do all things..." His confidence was unwavering in this. He knew what he was capable of, and in that knowledge he changed the world. Being content in all situations requires this self-belief. Our "through-a-glass-darkly" view of ourselves makes it challenging to overcome this. We look so deeply into our own reflection, at our own weaknesses and shortcomings, that to be content seems a distant dream. Paul didn't just know what he was capable of, he believed that nothing could stand in his way of doing it. He knew that there was no enemy strong enough, no burden heavy enough, no obstacle big enough to keep him from his goal. It was in that awareness that contentment became possible. 

I'm sure that there was a time when Michael Jordan believed the exact same thing about his ability on the court. Likewise, there are times and situations in each of our lives where we believe the same of ourselves. Our most successful days of contentment are usually inundated with self-confidence and brimming with belief all while swimming in a deep pool of burdens.

HE CAN!
Belief in self is certainly an imperative for contentment, yet without a steady faith (a surety of hope and a certainty of the unseen) it quickly becomes empty arrogance. Accompanied by faith, contentment is not only more accessible, but it becomes lasting. Faith allows for imperfection, it allows for moments of hurt and frustration. Faith leaves room for mistakes and growth, which is essential for true contentment (as indicated by my short survey). Paul knew that his contentment in all circumstances was contingent upon this abiding faith. Without it, all he had was confidence, and he was afforded every opportunity to have that confidence wane! (whipped, stoned, shipwrecked, etc.) In all of those, seemingly insurmountable moments, Paul stood firm in his contentment. Faith was the key! Did he enjoy the hardship? As much as anyone enjoys stubbing their toe on the furniture in dark room...I have yet to meet a single person who is happy about pain! There are very few on earth who look forward to frustration and failure. In fact, the majority of our population work hard to avoid it. When it is present, we work hard to relieve it. And when it is unbearable, we work even harder to escape it. But what if we didn't? What if, instead of running away, we chose to embrace it? 

Our belief in God's ability to overcome leaves us with only one recourse for hardship; Learn! One of my favourite quotes from Dr. John C. Maxwell is; "Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn."  This paradigm shift enables us to "consider trials as pure joy"! Failures and obstacles become opportunity for personal development. 

Without the strength of God, bearing up under the weight of these becomes impossible. We are only victims and not pupils. The 'I can' quickly wanes and becomes 'I  think I can, but I really don't want to.'

THE MEASURE!

Lasting contentment, when accompanied with belief in our ability and confidence in God's strength, is attainable. It is not measured by the standards that our society proclaims. The "if-I-was-rich" principle does not apply! It is not in the better job, better marriage, better house, better friends, greener grass mentality that true contentment is found. It cannot be measured by the things we have or the situation we are in. Nor can we create a situation where we will be happier. 

Ultimately what it comes down to is choice. The choice to embrace hardship and failure as essential for our growth. The choice to work diligently in any situation or career regardless of the challenges they provide. The choice to take ownership of our own lives, the consequences of our decisions, the relationships that we have strained, and the problems that we have created. The choice to trust in a strength that is not our own. The choice to believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made! Lasting contentment IS attainable and surprisingly accessible.  

Ecclesiastes 9:10 "Whatever your hand finds to do, work at it with all of your might..."

When we put our heads down on our pillow at the end of the day, and sleep comes easily; when our mind is at ease and we can say, "I've done all that I can today, I've worked hard, I've failed some, and I've learned"; it is then, that we identify contentment. 

Misery

Misery (AKA: relieve yourself on your friends): “Misery loves company”! True statement. When a person is in a place of misery, they often want as many people to validate their frustration and depression as possible. If we can get people to hear us, sympathize with us, and maybe even commiserate with us, it somehow makes our misery more bearable! While we exist entirely independently of others, we want them to chime in on our existence. We desire others to experience life with us so that it somehow seems less unbearable. 

There are support groups for everything, every problem, every addiction, every sickness, these groups exist as means of gaining strength. Part of what makes them popular is the opportunity people are granted to dump their emotional baggage, but the true effectiveness of a support group is the strengthening that results.  At work, myself and the other salesmen get together and talk through deals gone south, or the market, or the customer base. We lay our frustrations on the table, and can commiserate with one another’s problems. It’s called “the huddle”, and the specific purpose of it is to offload our misery, stomp and snort a little, and then get back to work. While it can be cathartic, it is more often counter-productive. I, personally, look for validation and approval for my misery, but in the process leave my team feeling weighed down by my frustrations.  

Though vastly independent, and almost entirely self sufficient, we are made to be with other people. “I Am Legend” is a story about the last man on earth, survivor of a zombie apocalypse. He has at his disposal, anything he could possibly want, but he is missing the one thing that matters, human companionship. There is a scene where he is in a movie store talking to mannequins, hungry for human conversation. The movie “Cast Away” with Tom Hanks has a similar scene, in his hunger for human companionship he was left talking to a Wilson volleyball with a bloody hand print! To what lengths do we go to connect with other humans? 

If we look at our relationships and see an avenue to offload our misery in an effort to feel better, then maybe we have missed the point! While we are kindred spirits in adversity, it is not adversity that binds us together. In fact, misery is not a welcome guest at any table; “Better is a meal of vegetables where love is than the fattened calf served up with hatred!” Proverbs 15:17. 

Adversity is always trumped by love.  While we all share in the “human condition”, probably the most pertinent element of it is love. Our need for love is what binds us together making companionship a requirement, not that we dump our misery on others with the hopes of reprieve, but that we strengthen one another so that we can bear up under it! Dumping our misery, while offering a momentary relief, only serves to open up a void for new misery. Learning to stand strong in the face of misery gives us the ability to overcome it once and for all! This is why we must surround ourselves with people who build us up, and also why we must not be a people who relieve ourselves of our misery on our friends! (don’t relieve yourself on your friends)!

A New World View

Probably the most pertinent lesson of the last four years has been the realization that the world is not as I thought it was! Coming straight out of Bible College into ministry provided me with every opportunity to learn how to be a charity case. Low income, fledgling family, new ministry, and a lot of people who wanted to "help-out" made it easy for me to feed an entitled attitude. I saw the world through the lens of neediness, and was fed every time I faced difficulty. There was always someone with a cheque in hand willing to help out, always a bonus, or a side job or a hand-out. Yet as good and generous as it was of those people to help out, it was the worst thing possible for my world view. I became entitled! I felt that I deserved the world handed to me on a silver platter. 

Just after my wife and I were married, we moved into a town home that belonged to one of the members of our church. The rent was minimal, and the condo was much more than we needed. When we came in to look at the home, the giving church member asked what we thought. What we thought? Really? He was giving us a place for minimal rent, waiving the security deposit, and allowing us to move in whenever we were ready! When he asked us what we thought, the answer should quite simply have been, "it's perfect!" but instead we proceeded to tell him that it was too dark, and that he needed to change the linoleum in the kitchen and dining room, and to re-carpet the living room. Not only that, but we would not move in unless he put a fresh coat of paint on the walls, and lowered the rent from a whopping $350 month down to $300...as if we were doing him a favour! Really? If I could step back in time and smack my entitled-little-jerk-self in the back of the head I would!  

For years I expected people to carry me, to pay my bills when things were tight, to fill my tank when it was empty, to provide me with benefits and retirement plans. I expected that my church would take care of me, and give me incremental raises that would gradually inch my income to match the inflated market. I would have bills outstanding, skip payments, and borrow money with the intention paying it back, someday, maybe (unless, of course, they forgot). 

Then the real world kicked me swiftly in the face! It has been a baptism by fire, a crucible, and probably the best education I have ever received. Commission sales has placed me squarely in charge of my own income. My performance determines my success. For the first time, I can expect nothing from anyone and the "no-excuses, no whining" policy of this demanding job has made this fact abundantly clear.  I am entirely on my own.  

This career path was sold to me with a great-big picture; A huge future with limitless potential; a massive income; I would be given advancement, benefits, and a demo vehicle to drive; Maybe even one day a dealership all my own. It was a magnificent, metaphorical, carrot that was dangled before my face chiding me on, pushing me forward, motivating me. However, I soon realized that the carrot was not going to be handed to me so, like a spoiled brat, I began to balk at the "lie" of the big-picture. I whined, and cried about the industry, how it was off-balance and unfair. I believed that I deserved to be given the big picture now. Really, I all but told my brother, friend and boss that he needed to change the floors, add more light, and lower my rent. Talk about missing the point! 

That is the truth! I do not deserve it, not yet anyway. If I was boss over my entitled younger-self I would not let him take responsibility for anything because I know my younger self could not even take responsibility for himself. Yet here I am, almost twenty years later, doing exactly the same thing! In fact, I do not have to reach back in time very far to smack myself upside the head. Thank you life... Lesson well taught!

2015 Life Lessons:

1. I deserve what I earn, not what I want! If what I think I deserve is more than what I am getting, then it is my responsibility to step up and earn more!
2. When life is difficult, it is my responsibility to face the adversity head-on, to own it, and to fight through it! Adversity is essential for teaching perseverance, and perseverance is essential for growth. "You have to hurt and break and rebuild and repeat! It's life, and it makes us who we need to be!" -Unknown
3. Today I will win or I will learn...either way I will be victorious!

Rolland J. Bouchard

Your Fault is Showing!!!

Trying to appear as if one has it all together
shows that one does not have it together at all!

I firmly believe in grace!  The fact that there is nothing that I can do or that I can't possibly ever be good enough to earn it, is colossal!  But honestly, I do like to appear as though I have it all together, as though I don't need grace at all!  I much prefer it when people look at my life and think, "wow, he's a great dad/christian/salesman/preacher/husband/consignment manager/tech support/etc"! I want people to look in the windows of my life and see someone who is confident, and knowledgeable, and worthy of respect!  I am motivated by the praise others give me for my supposed competence!  I certainly don't want them to see a scared, broken, teetering-on-the-edge person.  The paradox here is that trying to appear as though I have it all together proves that I do not have it together at all!  My fault is showing, and it is embarrassing!

It's like that in church too, isn't it? What I find most challenging about some of our religious theology, is the supposition of complete understanding and the resulting appearance of moral and theological perfection. One believing that their understanding and application of specific texts is flawless with a resulting moral arrogance is repulsive to me! It is embarrassing, to say the least!  But it's not just about understandings and interpretations, it's about the accompanying attitude.  For years church members have fought in a battle over superiority of doctrine, and have steeled up their loyalty to one faction or another.  This has resulted in a body of hardened believers, intent on proving their position through attitude and action.  Moral superiority is the sword that is drawn, and doctrinal perfection the shield.  Members, convinced of their perfection, believing that they are right in their actions and stances, have alienated and cut off any form of child-like curiosity.  People, are asking questions but they are being relentlessly attacked because of it.  Lord forbid that one should challenge the archaic systems of religion with a simple "why?".  Funny (not funny "haha") that questions about how to "do" church or interpret the Bible cause so sharp a response.  The only reason that I can think of as to why questioning our position would cause such hostility is that we believe we have arrived at a place of complete understanding.  If I recall, there was a person in the new testament who was convinced that he was right in both his doctrine and actions. He believed his understanding and theology was better than the new found Christian movement.  He believed himself to be superior in all ways, a Pharisee of Pharisees!  Had Jesus been a liar, this man would have been right for his relentless persecution of christendom!  But he was not right! Until Saul met Jesus on the Damascus road he was convinced of the inerrancy of his morality and theology at the cost of Stephen and many other Christian lives!  It took a blinding to give Saul sight, a swift kick in the heart so-to-speak!

Jesus speaks to the Pharisee over and over about superficiality.  He accused them of being white washed tombs, clean outside, full of decay inside. He called them out for their superficial legalism and continual judgement on those around them.  When they tried to challenge Him, Jesus staggered them with words like "render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and to God what is Gods!" and "let him who is without sin throw the first stone"!  He confounds their vast intelligence, and humbles their arrogance in His beautiful simplicity! So concise and accurate were His words and actions, that they had no way of convicting Him of wrong! They had to hire liars and false witnesses to get Jesus to stop, but even at His death He had the last word when the Temple curtain is torn in half from top to bottom!  Even more than that, Jesus opened the grave He was buried in and proved once and for all that He is indeed who He said He was!

Sometimes I just wish He would kick us in the butt the same way!  I wish He would come down here and call us out for our arrogance, for our legalism, for our judgemental stupidity!  Short of that, I'm not sure what will wake us up?  Lord knows I preached this change for at least 8 my 15 years with little-to-no success!  It MUST take God, Himself to break us and make us pliable and usable once again!  The beautiful thing here is that God has enough love for His children, enough grace for our painfully obvious faults, that even if we don't face this and change He can forgive! But at what cost are our swords drawn?  How many lives must be taken, generations must pass before we change?  I'd like to say that we won't wait for a Damascus road to break us, that we will embrace our imperfections and show the world that we are real, authentic, broken people.  Only then can God's power be made perfect in us!

Stop faking it...your fault is showing!

Here's the Church...Here's the Steeple!

Open the doors and see all the people!!!

I ended my last post with, "more on what that looks like in another article!"  What does a "baptized" church look like?  For me, baptism was a beginning.  I had read that my immersion was a death, that my old self would be dead and gone and I would be new.  It wasn't long before I realized that I was still me.  I had the same struggles, the same attitudes, and the same thought processes and desires. Not sure what I was expecting!  Maybe I thought that my personality would be altered somehow or that my outlook on life would be framed differently.  I certainly believed that my life would be better, and I would be happier but that was certainly not the case!  There were, however, some differences. For example; I felt a greater sense of purpose, like I had found a direction that was missing. I felt a new sense of belonging that I hadn't felt prior to my immersion.  But other than those changes, nothing else was really different. I still struggled with "fleshly desires", and I still felt hatred and anger and frustration and hurt.  I was still the same person, with only a few barely-noticeable changes.  So what was different?  I knew that I was saved by the grace of God!  I knew that no matter what I had done, was doing, or was going to do that God's grace was sufficient.  The water was only water, apart from getting wet the only change that occurred was in my soul! Almost imperceptible to any other person. I've been a Christian for 23 years, a minister for 15 of those, and the changes of my death, burial and resurrection are still well under way!  I guess I would say that I'm a work in progress.  

When I talk about the death, burial and resurrection of the church I can't help but compare with my own personal transformation.  What does it look like?  It is not much different than what it is now except for an internal, imperceptible change of heart! It is from that change of heart that the imperceptible grows over time and ultimately becomes apparent!  The problem lies in us believing that the change is instant and comes in the form of morality or doctrinal theology.  This is then compounded by personalities conflicting over opinion and programming under the presupposition that we have somehow arrived at our destination. Then, ultimately, the change of heart and soul is washed away by human nature, arrogance and relational discord. I've said it before that if we want the church's problems to go away, all we have to to do is get rid of the people! After all, the people are the most complicated part of this whole equation. 

ALL THE PEOPLE!

It is the mystery of the universe that many have spent their lives trying to understand. Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler, Carl Jung, William Glasser and the like have worked hard to figure out people.  Myer's Briggs, the Holland Codes, Jungian Typology, Socionics, HEXACO, DISC, Keirsey Temperament, HumanMetrics, etc...etc...etc. Oh, we've got it figured out!  A simple test and we know what kind of people we are, how we work, and who we interact well/poorly with. As long as we've been alive, we've been mastering exactly what this "human" thing is about! Bask in the enlightenment of our ability to understand! People! Introverts, extroverts, logicals, ethicals, sensitives, intuitives, aristocratic, timocratic, oligarchic, democratic, tyrannic, analytical, artsy, objective and subjective, rational and irrational, open minded, closed minded, arrogant and humble, ego, super-ego, id...ugh!  People! Psychology! Typology!

The word "Psychology" can be parsed out and extracted from it's origins.  It is derived from the Greek words "Psuche" and "Logos".  Very literally it means "soul of word" but can be simply translated as "a thing said of the soul"!  While there are arguments about this from differing personality types, it seems obvious to me that it is the desire of people to know how we work!  

So, what words would we use to describe ourselves?  The old sunday school rhyme goes "Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the people.  Close the doors and let them pray, open the doors and they've all gone away!"  With a few hand gestures, and the right meter this little poem pretty much sums up the most common perceptions of church. Open and Shut!  

The beauty of it is in the fact that we are all in the same boat, cut from the same cloth, made of the same dirt! One thing that we do know more than anything else, is that from the time of the Garden we have been hungry for something more.  We are looking for deeper meaning, and purpose!  We are longing for direction and value, and this because of the one and same human nature that we all possess!  No matter how we try to hypothesize and summarize the kind of people we may be, the truth can be reduced to this one simple thought; we are lumps of dirt!  

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that "God has set eternity in the hearts of people, yet from beginning to end we cannot fathom what God has done!"  2 Corinthians 4 says that we have a treasure inside of us that comes only from God.  In Genesis we're told that God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed life into his creation.  That breath is in us!  That eternity is in us! We are all looking for it in everything we do!  Psychology, typology and personality tests are not necessary for us to know that we are lumps of dirt longing to understand the eternity that God has placed inside of us!  

The best part of all of this isn't that we'll ever fully understand it, but that we no longer have to!  We have been given a hope that fulfils our deepest human nature, that no matter how dirty, muddy, dusty we are God has given us a "treasure"!  

Now, if only we could stop looking at each other, judging each other like we should be more than lumps of dirt.  If only we could recognize that, as imperfect as we are, God has put in us something perfect!  Not based on our actions or morality, not based on our doctrine or theology, but entirely rooted in the truth that we are His lumps of dirt!

The Elephant...

"Elephant in the room" is an English metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is either being ignored or going unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss.

It is based on the idea that an elephant in a room would be impossible to overlook; thus, people in the room who pretend the elephant is not there have chosen to avoid dealing with the looming big issue.

Wikipedia


RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships are messy! (I know, "thank you captain obvious!!") There are two different kinds of relationships, "micro" and "macro". We range from individual interactions (micro) to societal norms (macro), and each of these have full impact on the other. There's a story in US history about two feuding families in the late 1800's; the Hatfields and McCoys. It is a famous, almost legendary tale that had national implications. The story stretches back to post civil war, and is inundated with tales of murder, hatred and jealousy. It is said that the feud started with a little more than a simple incompatibility between two immigrants, and was fuelled by civil war tensions. It came to a distinct head when Floyd Hatfield and Randy McCoy both laid claim to a "hog"! Hatfield claimed that the pig belonged to him and that McCoy stole it! A judge (who happened to be a Hatfield) ruled in favour of Floyd, which ultimately lead to his murder by two cousins of Randy! The feud continued on, increasing in its horrors, until the supreme court convicted the families. Life sentences were given to seven, and one of the primary instigators was given the death penalty and was executed by hanging in 1890. That death ended the feud but it was too late, it had already affected and changed an entire society. Death ended the feud...someone had to die to end it! Hmm...sounds familiar doesn't it? Relationships are messy, and a small infraction, a "hog", can lead to mass casualties and ultimately a change in an entire society that involves everyone!


TOO BIG TO TALK ABOUT

Isn't that the way it is today? Something that starts out on the micro scale, an incompatibility between two people, grows into an unreasonable tension and ultimately the demise of a whole community/society. In fear of that destruction, the "Elephant-in-the-room" becomes too big to talk about. Individuals skirt around the behemoth in hopes that it's big, grey, wrinkly, tension will just disappear! Frustrations and hurts become grudges and vengeance! Passive aggressive comments are made to vie for position around the mammoth until everyone has their semi-comfortable (or at best, mildly tolerable) place. This mildly tolerable place is found usually after someone finally gives up and leaves and rarely ever from addressing the actual problem that plagues them. It's too big to talk about!


TO BIG TO IGNORE

I am amazed at how often this happens in churches. Historical strain on age old relationships or differences in theological opinion and attitude lead to communities filled with casualties. The longer those feuds are carried out the more bodies (aka. people leaving) pile up. I don't know about you, but a community of hostility is not where people are looking for life! Isn't that the journey of all people? I don't know a single person on the planet who is not looking for something that fills them with life! How much life is there in a church that can't move beyond their history, tradition, or sacramental theology?


With the demise of Christian Colleges, a fair number of churches, and the resignation of pulpit preachers (self-included) it seems a fair assessment that there is something wrong with our church society today! Throughout my 15 years of ministry, I had spent a lot of time and energy trying to pinpoint exactly what the problem is. I always knew there was something wrong, but from inside the church my perspective was filtered. Now that I am sitting on the back pew, no longer concerned about which way I'm allowed to step to avoid the elephant, I feel a sense of clarity. If our goal as Christians is to bring people to the living water, to show people where life can be found, then we can't be naive about our age old problems. There is not much life in a church too consumed by the casualties of the past. This is too big to ignore!


A CLEAN BREAK!

So what is the solution? It seems to me that, on the micro level, God knew this would be a problem for us individually. He knew that we would struggle with life, fall flat on our faces, and fail over and over again! He knew that, given the option, humanity would choose to "eat-the-fruit"! We've been in a place of want since the Garden of Eden, the difference now is that our want is fully satisfied in Jesus! Before we, as humans, come to the realization that all of our searching for life is in vain without Christ, we are famished! But God, through Jesus Christ, breaks us of ourselves and shows us the "way, truth, and life" we are searching for. We then die, are buried and are then, and only then resurrected to a new life! The death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is not just an history changing event, it is the perfect metaphor for what we as a people require for our insatiable hunger! New life requires a clean break from the old!


Our personal relationship with God is on the micro scale, us and Him; but what about our community relationship with Him? Perhaps we haven't taken immersion to the next level yet! Maybe the death, burial and resurrection of Christ applies to the church the same way it applies to the individual parts of the body! What if the "Old Man" in the church is our history, baggage and elephants? The only way a church can offer life to the world is to be fully alive in Christ! The only way to be fully alive in Christ is to die to self, be buried with Christ, and to be resurrected to new life! It seems to me that the church needs to repent and die! New life requires a clean break from the old! It's time for a hangin'!


A lot of people were afraid when Western Christian College shut it's doors. We were concerned that the legacy and tradition would vanish, that all of the hard work would be forgotten or done in vain. People worry about the future of our children without the school. Fear was all over it's closing, and is still around now that the school is gone. I met my wife at Western, and unlike that Hatfields and McCoys, our relationship began with compatibility. We have become a society all our own that has impacted our community (hopefully in good ways), the churches that we have served, and the people we have connected with along the way. Our beginnings were in Western's history, and I dreamt of sending my children to be part of that legacy as well. But those emotional attachments to the school were not enough to keep it from closing. We don't want to forget, we don't want to put to death the things that have had a bearing on who we've become. Or maybe we don't want to trust that God can raise the dead on a macro scale as well as a micro one! Maybe it's time to trust that God can raise the church!?!


WHAT ABOUT OUR NAME?

What holds us captive from doing this? Fear! We are afraid that if we die, if we shut the doors and put to death the programs and sacraments that we will lose what we have and who we are. Isn't that the idea? Isn't that what God has called us to in baptism? But Rolland, if we close the doors, if we start over what if we lose who we are? What if the name we are trying to make for ourselves is compromised? What if we never come back together? Fear! Fear of loss, fear of hurt, fear of identity crisis, fear. Fear is not a good enough reason to keep a sick society on life-support. It is not a good enough reason to pretend that the problems of the past will have no bearing on today if we ignore them. It is not a good enough reason to draw swords and murder over who owns the theological "hog". Fear is not a good enough reason to stay-put in our mildly tolerable corners, and not address the problem. It cannot paralyse us, or inundate our thinking so that all we have left is a tense battle where we are vying for position around the elephant. That kind of church is uninviting, hostile and toxic. Ouch! People are hungry for life, we are hungry for life! The good news is that God can resurrect us!




Perfect love drives out fear! If we understand that God is love, that His love is shown in Jesus, and that Jesus death, burial and resurrection is our only way to that love, then maybe it's time to concede! Maybe it's time, as a church society to put to be put to death, buried and resurrected! Maybe it's time to dream bigger and believe more deeply in the power of the King!


(more on what that looks like in another article!) Thoughts are welcome!