15 Years! That's exactly how long I had been involved in "formal" ministry. From 1996 to 2011 I served in several different ministries; Internships, Youth Ministry, Pulpit Ministry, and Campus Ministry. I have preached countless sermons, lead countless Bible Studies, spoke at many special events, lead countless songs, wrote countless articles, performed many weddings and funerals (sometimes they seemed like one and the same), and faced countless problems. From faith crisis to relationship conflict to theological confusion, I have stumbled through the gamut. The lessons/beatings were many and powerful, moulding me into who I am now. I just wish I could say that I've learned all that I need to and that life is now a cakewalk, but I can't!
While there were MANY, MANY good and memorable moments in ministry, it always amazed me how quickly the few bad would erase the many good. In every facet of life, there are challenging and sometimes overwhelming experiences and those moments, as minor as they may be, always turned into a forest of emotions and frustrations. You've heard the expression "can't see the forest for the trees"? In all of my ministry experience, this was the common problem. I would often get bogged down in the minutia! I would dive into conflict, and lose site of the big picture. I remember preaching a sermon about this very thing! Using an analogy, I projected an image of a beautiful moose grazing out in a field. I focused on the beauty of it, of the power a moose had, on the beauty of the antlers on his head. We spent a lot of time talking about the moose until I strategically panned the image out to reveal a full and majestic scene with mountains and trees and a green water mountain lake in the foreground. By the time the full resolution image was revealed the moose was only a blip on the screen.
I like the story of the conflict between Peter and Paul in Galatians 2:11-16. I used to relate to Paul's "gotta pin the ears back of those false teachers" rebuke of Peter, but then I realized that I was more like Peter than Paul. He was bogged down in the minutia! He was lost in strained relationships, conflicts and theology. He was tired, and decided to take a rest from pushing against the current. Peter had lost sight of the full resolution, big picture and settled on the moose of Judaism. I can relate!
In every ministry experience I jumped in with both feet running. I started all of my posts at full tilt and was swiftly, abruptly stopped at every tiny moose! Winded and tired, and I could no longer see the big picture. Having lost my objective view, I spent the third and fourth years out of breath and too tired to keep going. So, being the "genius" that I am, each time I decided to move on and start over and try again! It took me until now to realize that the problem I was having wasn't with any of my church posts, but entirely with me! I was the primary problem!
Having said that, it is imperative that I state the obvious; there are far too many moose in our churches today! How much energy and time is spent on conflicts? How many hours are spent discussing what would "fix" the church? So much time, so much effort is expended talking about the business of the church, on the order of service, on the teaching schedules, and building use agreements, and programs. Burnt out Christians, are expending all of their energy on the moose! It is exhausting! As is everything else we do in life. There isn't an area of our lives that don't have those tiny distractions and frustrations. I would say that we need to step back and see the big picture, but I don't think that's the right conclusion! I am no longer in formal ministry, and I think that I am slowly regaining objectivity, but I don't think it's because I've stepped back (though stepping back hasn't hindered me from seeing things more clearly). What I have realized is that all of us are the problem! We all bring our own baggage and personalities into our own groups/families/workplaces, and as a result we quarrel and conflict. We have tension and frustration and we get lost in the minutia. But we can't forget that our God is bigger than the moose! He is the whole picture! His power is made perfect in our imperfection, and his glory is shown in our strained relationships, and bad attitudes. His grace is far more evident in the imperfect than in the perfect.
I'm not saying that we should take a big step back and look at the big picture, I'm saying that we should step down and recognize that it is in our imperfection that God is clearly at work!
Rolland
