The Elephant...

"Elephant in the room" is an English metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is either being ignored or going unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss.

It is based on the idea that an elephant in a room would be impossible to overlook; thus, people in the room who pretend the elephant is not there have chosen to avoid dealing with the looming big issue.

Wikipedia


RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships are messy! (I know, "thank you captain obvious!!") There are two different kinds of relationships, "micro" and "macro". We range from individual interactions (micro) to societal norms (macro), and each of these have full impact on the other. There's a story in US history about two feuding families in the late 1800's; the Hatfields and McCoys. It is a famous, almost legendary tale that had national implications. The story stretches back to post civil war, and is inundated with tales of murder, hatred and jealousy. It is said that the feud started with a little more than a simple incompatibility between two immigrants, and was fuelled by civil war tensions. It came to a distinct head when Floyd Hatfield and Randy McCoy both laid claim to a "hog"! Hatfield claimed that the pig belonged to him and that McCoy stole it! A judge (who happened to be a Hatfield) ruled in favour of Floyd, which ultimately lead to his murder by two cousins of Randy! The feud continued on, increasing in its horrors, until the supreme court convicted the families. Life sentences were given to seven, and one of the primary instigators was given the death penalty and was executed by hanging in 1890. That death ended the feud but it was too late, it had already affected and changed an entire society. Death ended the feud...someone had to die to end it! Hmm...sounds familiar doesn't it? Relationships are messy, and a small infraction, a "hog", can lead to mass casualties and ultimately a change in an entire society that involves everyone!


TOO BIG TO TALK ABOUT

Isn't that the way it is today? Something that starts out on the micro scale, an incompatibility between two people, grows into an unreasonable tension and ultimately the demise of a whole community/society. In fear of that destruction, the "Elephant-in-the-room" becomes too big to talk about. Individuals skirt around the behemoth in hopes that it's big, grey, wrinkly, tension will just disappear! Frustrations and hurts become grudges and vengeance! Passive aggressive comments are made to vie for position around the mammoth until everyone has their semi-comfortable (or at best, mildly tolerable) place. This mildly tolerable place is found usually after someone finally gives up and leaves and rarely ever from addressing the actual problem that plagues them. It's too big to talk about!


TO BIG TO IGNORE

I am amazed at how often this happens in churches. Historical strain on age old relationships or differences in theological opinion and attitude lead to communities filled with casualties. The longer those feuds are carried out the more bodies (aka. people leaving) pile up. I don't know about you, but a community of hostility is not where people are looking for life! Isn't that the journey of all people? I don't know a single person on the planet who is not looking for something that fills them with life! How much life is there in a church that can't move beyond their history, tradition, or sacramental theology?


With the demise of Christian Colleges, a fair number of churches, and the resignation of pulpit preachers (self-included) it seems a fair assessment that there is something wrong with our church society today! Throughout my 15 years of ministry, I had spent a lot of time and energy trying to pinpoint exactly what the problem is. I always knew there was something wrong, but from inside the church my perspective was filtered. Now that I am sitting on the back pew, no longer concerned about which way I'm allowed to step to avoid the elephant, I feel a sense of clarity. If our goal as Christians is to bring people to the living water, to show people where life can be found, then we can't be naive about our age old problems. There is not much life in a church too consumed by the casualties of the past. This is too big to ignore!


A CLEAN BREAK!

So what is the solution? It seems to me that, on the micro level, God knew this would be a problem for us individually. He knew that we would struggle with life, fall flat on our faces, and fail over and over again! He knew that, given the option, humanity would choose to "eat-the-fruit"! We've been in a place of want since the Garden of Eden, the difference now is that our want is fully satisfied in Jesus! Before we, as humans, come to the realization that all of our searching for life is in vain without Christ, we are famished! But God, through Jesus Christ, breaks us of ourselves and shows us the "way, truth, and life" we are searching for. We then die, are buried and are then, and only then resurrected to a new life! The death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ is not just an history changing event, it is the perfect metaphor for what we as a people require for our insatiable hunger! New life requires a clean break from the old!


Our personal relationship with God is on the micro scale, us and Him; but what about our community relationship with Him? Perhaps we haven't taken immersion to the next level yet! Maybe the death, burial and resurrection of Christ applies to the church the same way it applies to the individual parts of the body! What if the "Old Man" in the church is our history, baggage and elephants? The only way a church can offer life to the world is to be fully alive in Christ! The only way to be fully alive in Christ is to die to self, be buried with Christ, and to be resurrected to new life! It seems to me that the church needs to repent and die! New life requires a clean break from the old! It's time for a hangin'!


A lot of people were afraid when Western Christian College shut it's doors. We were concerned that the legacy and tradition would vanish, that all of the hard work would be forgotten or done in vain. People worry about the future of our children without the school. Fear was all over it's closing, and is still around now that the school is gone. I met my wife at Western, and unlike that Hatfields and McCoys, our relationship began with compatibility. We have become a society all our own that has impacted our community (hopefully in good ways), the churches that we have served, and the people we have connected with along the way. Our beginnings were in Western's history, and I dreamt of sending my children to be part of that legacy as well. But those emotional attachments to the school were not enough to keep it from closing. We don't want to forget, we don't want to put to death the things that have had a bearing on who we've become. Or maybe we don't want to trust that God can raise the dead on a macro scale as well as a micro one! Maybe it's time to trust that God can raise the church!?!


WHAT ABOUT OUR NAME?

What holds us captive from doing this? Fear! We are afraid that if we die, if we shut the doors and put to death the programs and sacraments that we will lose what we have and who we are. Isn't that the idea? Isn't that what God has called us to in baptism? But Rolland, if we close the doors, if we start over what if we lose who we are? What if the name we are trying to make for ourselves is compromised? What if we never come back together? Fear! Fear of loss, fear of hurt, fear of identity crisis, fear. Fear is not a good enough reason to keep a sick society on life-support. It is not a good enough reason to pretend that the problems of the past will have no bearing on today if we ignore them. It is not a good enough reason to draw swords and murder over who owns the theological "hog". Fear is not a good enough reason to stay-put in our mildly tolerable corners, and not address the problem. It cannot paralyse us, or inundate our thinking so that all we have left is a tense battle where we are vying for position around the elephant. That kind of church is uninviting, hostile and toxic. Ouch! People are hungry for life, we are hungry for life! The good news is that God can resurrect us!




Perfect love drives out fear! If we understand that God is love, that His love is shown in Jesus, and that Jesus death, burial and resurrection is our only way to that love, then maybe it's time to concede! Maybe it's time, as a church society to put to be put to death, buried and resurrected! Maybe it's time to dream bigger and believe more deeply in the power of the King!


(more on what that looks like in another article!) Thoughts are welcome!