Trying to appear as if one has it all together
shows that one does not have it together at all!
shows that one does not have it together at all!
I firmly believe in grace! The fact that there is nothing that I can do or that I can't possibly ever be good enough to earn it, is colossal! But honestly, I do like to appear as though I have it all together, as though I don't need grace at all! I much prefer it when people look at my life and think, "wow, he's a great dad/christian/salesman/preacher/husband/consignment manager/tech support/etc"! I want people to look in the windows of my life and see someone who is confident, and knowledgeable, and worthy of respect! I am motivated by the praise others give me for my supposed competence! I certainly don't want them to see a scared, broken, teetering-on-the-edge person. The paradox here is that trying to appear as though I have it all together proves that I do not have it together at all! My fault is showing, and it is embarrassing!
It's like that in church too, isn't it? What I find most challenging about some of our religious theology, is the supposition of complete understanding and the resulting appearance of moral and theological perfection. One believing that their understanding and application of specific texts is flawless with a resulting moral arrogance is repulsive to me! It is embarrassing, to say the least! But it's not just about understandings and interpretations, it's about the accompanying attitude. For years church members have fought in a battle over superiority of doctrine, and have steeled up their loyalty to one faction or another. This has resulted in a body of hardened believers, intent on proving their position through attitude and action. Moral superiority is the sword that is drawn, and doctrinal perfection the shield. Members, convinced of their perfection, believing that they are right in their actions and stances, have alienated and cut off any form of child-like curiosity. People, are asking questions but they are being relentlessly attacked because of it. Lord forbid that one should challenge the archaic systems of religion with a simple "why?". Funny (not funny "haha") that questions about how to "do" church or interpret the Bible cause so sharp a response. The only reason that I can think of as to why questioning our position would cause such hostility is that we believe we have arrived at a place of complete understanding. If I recall, there was a person in the new testament who was convinced that he was right in both his doctrine and actions. He believed his understanding and theology was better than the new found Christian movement. He believed himself to be superior in all ways, a Pharisee of Pharisees! Had Jesus been a liar, this man would have been right for his relentless persecution of christendom! But he was not right! Until Saul met Jesus on the Damascus road he was convinced of the inerrancy of his morality and theology at the cost of Stephen and many other Christian lives! It took a blinding to give Saul sight, a swift kick in the heart so-to-speak!
Jesus speaks to the Pharisee over and over about superficiality. He accused them of being white washed tombs, clean outside, full of decay inside. He called them out for their superficial legalism and continual judgement on those around them. When they tried to challenge Him, Jesus staggered them with words like "render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and to God what is Gods!" and "let him who is without sin throw the first stone"! He confounds their vast intelligence, and humbles their arrogance in His beautiful simplicity! So concise and accurate were His words and actions, that they had no way of convicting Him of wrong! They had to hire liars and false witnesses to get Jesus to stop, but even at His death He had the last word when the Temple curtain is torn in half from top to bottom! Even more than that, Jesus opened the grave He was buried in and proved once and for all that He is indeed who He said He was!
Sometimes I just wish He would kick us in the butt the same way! I wish He would come down here and call us out for our arrogance, for our legalism, for our judgemental stupidity! Short of that, I'm not sure what will wake us up? Lord knows I preached this change for at least 8 my 15 years with little-to-no success! It MUST take God, Himself to break us and make us pliable and usable once again! The beautiful thing here is that God has enough love for His children, enough grace for our painfully obvious faults, that even if we don't face this and change He can forgive! But at what cost are our swords drawn? How many lives must be taken, generations must pass before we change? I'd like to say that we won't wait for a Damascus road to break us, that we will embrace our imperfections and show the world that we are real, authentic, broken people. Only then can God's power be made perfect in us!
Stop faking it...your fault is showing!
